Whiskey Gives You Hell

"You really are a loathsome, fiendish creature of the night." Worth bemoaned loudly as he watched the scene un-folding in his office, eyes widening in terror; his office had always been this messy, hell it was probably in the original blueprints to be like this.

Hanna hadn't nicknamed his office 'Dead End Alley' without a good reason...though plenty of things thrived in the dark corners. But now all of that was coming apart, it was a little like watching the Titanic go down...or drowning puppies in a river. Or Rosie O'Donnell in nipple tassels.

"Those are some pretty long words, y'know...I'd say you read them in a book but you being able to read is a scary idea in itself." The skinny little bitch, a failed attempt of a vampire said smugly from his side as the professional cleaners bustled back and forth; dressed a step down from full hazard gear.

Worth shot Conrad a look that if it was possible, would've burned Conrad down to a pair of glasses resting on top of a pile of ashes; which Worth probably would have mixed in with manure and planted a pretty little flower garden.

Which was more of his mum's gig than his, THANK GOD.

A repulsed little shudder shot down his spine at the memory of the last time his mum had dragged him around the flower garden when he visited...it was so pink and clean.

"OH MY FUCKING GOD, SOMETHING BIT ME!" Came in a hair-raising  shriek from one of the meeker cleaners, some tech-y nerd with mousy brown hair. Just like with Conrad, Worth was always surprised when somebody that weak did something as out of character as swearing.

A scrawny ball of fur and black skin came tearing across the not-so filthy floor, which after having several inches of  crud and general nastiness scraped off, was revealed to be black and white checks.

"PISS OFF YOU FUCKING LIL' FAGGOT!" Worth roared with a devoted smoker's rasp as one of the cleaners chased after the ball of dirty butterscotch coloured fluff, trying to kill it by beating it to death with a broom and failing miserably.

He hastily bent down on one knee, holding out one hand to the skittering animal as it practically flew up the extended limb. Claws catching on the white fabric till it nose dived into the furry collar of his coat, nearly blending in perfectly.

Worth glared bloody murder at the cleaner who had attempted to murder the little creature gasping for air next to his ear, absentmindedly reaching a hand up to pet the little animal's shaking sides; which was only a little less scrawny than Worth's. A small smile tugged at his lips while the tiny creature squeaked loudly and started nibbling gently on the outside rim of his ear.

"What the hell is that thing?" Conrad asked with a horrified edge to his voice. Worth glared back for all he was worth, suddenly reminded it was the 'One Fanged Wonder''s friend who tried to kill the shaking creature cowering against his neck.

"This is Whiskey and he is a rat!" Worth growled viciously, Whiskey having recovered from his ordeal slightly and flipping Conrad the middle finger, or in his case, toe, from the safety of Worth's coat.

Whiskey shouldn't have been able to tell the right moment to flip somebody off, or indeed been able to do it; but having a smartass and snarky attitude came as a side effect of living with Worth.

"We're finished. _Finally."  A petite blond sighed gratefully, standing up to survey the almost un-recognizable office. Worth hastily suffocated a small ball of what felt like gratitude, Cos having Connie Faggy McFagfaged's friends don't warrant that.

The mousy blond turned towards him and when "Can you pay us no-" Worth interrupted before that final, fatal 'w'; jabbing his ever present cigarette in Conrad's direction, snarling "You want money, you get it from him. Now get the fuck out of my office unless you're bleeding from an orifice." Daring the pack of art fags to say otherwise.

One outraged young man squawked, "How dare you?!" Storming up to Worth despite Conrad's noticeable wince of what could be called pity, "I'm not leaving till I get paid, whether I need medical help from you or not!"

Worth smiled creepily, whipping one of his favorite scalpels out so that he could watch the razor tip bounce against the young man's pulse in his neck. _{"That can be arranged."}

And promptly pouted at the general stampede of people fleeing towards and out the door. "Was it something I said?" Worth asked sarcastically as he sauntered slowly up the hidden flight of stairs leading up to his apartment with Whiskey riding happily on his shoulder.

"And Connie,..." Worth paused as he spoke to the lone remainder of the art fags, "Stop staring at my ass." Before vanishing up the stairs and into his thankfully still filthy bathroom. Sadly, Worth thought as he stripped down quickly, the forced cleaning spree had inspired him to take a decent, hot bath.

The bubbles are just a side effect. Worth figured as he blow-beated his ancient, claw footed tub into filling up with hot water and soap. Finally he sank with a sigh into the water, the edge digging into the back of his neck while he puffed slowly on a cigarette dangling precariously out of one side of his mouth while Whiskey swam gleefully through the soapy water.

"Mm?" Worth cracked one eye open to see Conrad standing in the doorway, an odd look etched on his face with a sponge in hand.

"Wanna sponge bath?" Conrad asked nervously with a hopeful smile.

"Whiskey. Sic 'im." Worth said almost lazily before Whiskey practically flew out of the water, sprinting across the floor with small squeaks and leaping at Conrad's ankles with snapping teeth. The vampire fled with pained yelps, leaving Worth alone for...now.

Fag. Worth thought as he pinched his nostrils shut and plunging his head backwards into the water, staring up at the ceiling.

Gotta cute ass though.